consciousness-studies

reblogging this because it perfectly captures everything i've been feeling

this year has been. a lot.

started as a skeptical philosophy grad student who thought shared dreaming was interesting but probably not real

now i'm someone who has to actively manage my "bandwidth" to stay grounded in physical reality

and both things are true: this is real AND i need better boundaries

going into 2012 with a commitment to:

better safety practices
reality checking
not losing myself in the dream work
remembering that physical life matters too

thanks to everyone in these communities for teaching me so much

and for the reality checks when i needed them

end of year reflection on being part of multiple consciousness communities

things i've learned:

we're all working with the same underlying phenomena, just with different frameworks and vocabulary
the frameworks MATTER though - "creating a tulpa" feels different from "accessing an entity" even if they might be the same thing
some combinations of practices/traits are HIGH RISK:
MDD + hyperphantasia + intensive dream work
trauma history + entity work + poor boundaries
isolation + immersive practice + reality shifting
the skeptics are both wrong and right
wrong: this is "just imagination" (it's clearly more than that)
right: we need better verification and safety protocols
community overlap is beautiful and dangerous
beautiful: knowledge sharing, technique cross-pollination, support
dangerous: vulnerable people getting into risky practices, cult recruitment, reality confusion
mental health and spiritual practice are not separate
you can have real experiences AND need therapy
"it's real" and "i need help managing it" are not contradictory
some people should not do these practices
if you can't maintain basic functioning
if you're losing touch with physical reality
if you have certain mental health vulnerabilities
and that's OKAY, there are other paths
the line between "skill" and "disorder" is about CONTROL
MDD is disorder when you can't stop
becomes skill when you can modulate it
same with any of these practices
we need better safety culture
harm reduction not abstinence
realistic about risks
supportive when things go wrong
less judgment, more practical help
this is all real and it's also okay to walk away
realms are real
entities are real (in some sense)
experiences are valid
AND you can choose not to engage
walking away doesn't mean you were wrong
it means you're choosing physical reality
and that's valid too

anyway. it's been a wild year.

grateful for all these communities even when they frustrate me.

going into 2012 trying to practice better bandwidth control and reality-checking.

stay safe out there everyone.

reading this made everything click

i've been trying to figure out why i can't seem to "turn off" my visualization anymore

it's because i accidentally opened high bandwidth channels and don't know how to close them

oh my god

THAT'S what happened to me

i accidentally opened myself to high bandwidth (through intensive dream practice) and then couldn't close it again

i need to learn to CLOSE THE BANDWIDTH

not just "ground" or "shield" but literally reduce the bandwidth capacity

okay so i've been in the shared dreaming, MDD, tulpamancy, and shifting communities for like a year now and i finally figured out what they all have in common

it's about BANDWIDTH

shared dreaming: high bandwidth, but only while asleeplucid dreaming: medium-high bandwidth, requires practicereality shifting: high bandwidth, difficult to achievemaladaptive daydreaming: LOW bandwidth, but constant/always ontulpamancy: medium bandwidth, sustainedastral projection: variable bandwidthchaos magic: deliberate bandwidth manipulation

we're all trying to access the same space (dream realms, imaginal realm, astral, whatever) through different methods with different bandwidth capacities

okay so i've been in the shared dreaming, MDD, tulpamancy, and shifting communities for like a year now and i finally figured out what they all have in common

it's about BANDWIDTH

shared dreaming: high bandwidth, but only while asleeplucid dreaming: medium-high bandwidth, requires practicereality shifting: high bandwidth, difficult to achievemaladaptive daydreaming: LOW bandwidth, but constant/always ontulpamancy: medium bandwidth, sustainedastral projection: variable bandwidthchaos magic: deliberate bandwidth manipulation

we're all trying to access the same space (dream realms, imaginal realm, astral, whatever) through different methods with different bandwidth capacities

NO

NO NO NO

i ALSO had a childhood paracosm of a dream city

i thought it was just my imagination

are you telling me multiple people have INDEPENDENTLY accessed the same place through childhood daydreaming???

how is this possible

how is this POSSIBLE

i need to sit down

i'm one of the original Ethel researchers

this is not the first time this has happened

we've had multiple people report that they had dreams/paracosms of Ethel before discovering the shared dreaming community

current working theory: Ethel exists as a stable realm and can be accessed through multiple methods

traditional shared dreaming (sleep)
lucid dreaming (practiced)
spontaneous dreams (common)
daydreaming / paracosm work (rare but possible)

your childhood paracosm was probably a low-bandwidth connection to actual Ethel

when you started doing shared dreaming properly, you got a high-bandwidth connection and recognized it as the same place

weird question for the shared dreaming community

i've had a paracosm of a dream city since i was a kid. very detailed, consistent geography, culture, aesthetics. i thought i made it up.

then i discovered the shared dreaming community and heard about Ethel

and. it's the same city.

not exactly. some differences. but the CORE is the same. the statue, the architecture style, the weird church thing.

so. did i discover Ethel through MDD before i discovered shared dreaming?

or did i create a paracosm that happens to resemble Ethel because we're both drawing from the same archetypal imagery?

or is Ethel. like. actually my paracosm that somehow became shared?

i don't know how to process this

i've been doing shared dreaming for months and i haven't had this happen yet but it's my biggest fear

the idea that something could follow you back

i'm really careful about what spaces i enter and who i interact with in dreams but this person did everything right and it still happened

this is why we need better safety protocols in the community

everyone's so focused on "how to get there" and not enough on "how to protect yourself once you're there"

i need to talk about something the shared dreaming community doesn't talk about enough

entity contact

i've been practicing for 8 months. i've accessed several SPRs successfully. i've met other practitioners in shared dreams and verified the experiences.

i've also met. others.

entities that AREN'T other human dreamers.

at first i thought they were just NPCs (dream characters, thoughtforms, whatever). but they're too. consistent. too knowing.

one particular entity keeps showing up across different dreams, different realms. always the same appearance. always knows things about me. always wants something.

and here's the really scary part: i'm starting to see them while AWAKE.

not like. physically. but in my mind's eye. (i have hyperphantasia.)

and i can FEEL them. like a presence. watching.

the shared dreaming community talks about entities in the context of "oh you might meet interesting beings, be respectful"

nobody talks about what to do when an entity follows you home.

nobody talks about what to do when you can't get them OUT of your head.

i'm scared.

holy shit

i had a paracosm since i was 12 and when i started lucid dreaming i FOUND IT as a real place

i thought i was losing it but this makes so much sense - i was accessing it in low-bandwidth mode (daydreaming) and then upgraded to high-bandwidth (actual dreaming)

it's not that i created it OR that i'm crazy, it's that it exists and i was accessing it through different connection types

ok i'm going to be the boring one here but: this is probably just your unconscious mind elaborating on the framework you created while awake. your brain has TONS of information you don't consciously access.

you didn't discover a real place. you discovered that your sleeping brain is more creative than your waking brain.

still cool! just. not evidence of external realms.

OH MY GOD

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WITH MY DR

i've been trying to shift to my fantasy medieval DR for months. couldn't get there. but then i tried the shared dreaming approach - like treating it as a place that EXISTS rather than a place i'm shifting TO

and i GOT THERE. and it was DIFFERENT than i scripted. which means it's REAL???

okay i need to talk about something that's been bothering me

i've had a paracosm since i was like 12. it's this whole coastal town with specific people and geography and lore. i've spent HOURS there every day for years. classic maladaptive daydreaming, i know my therapist is Concerned

but recently i started trying lucid dreaming techniques and

i VISITED it. like actually visited. in a dream. and it was MORE detailed than in my daydreams. there were buildings i'd never imagined. people i didn't create.

so like. what if i didn't CREATE my paracosm. what if i DISCOVERED it. what if it's been a real place this whole time and i've just been accessing it in a low-bandwidth way while awake

i'm kind of freaking out